How to Document a Pregnancy the Scientific Way

(by Kylie and Landon Burgener)

Step 1 - While you are comfortably curled up on the couch, being lazy and watching Disney Channel shows on Netflix, your husband asks, "Do you think if you lay flat, your belly sticks out farther than your nose?" Cue laughter.

Step 2 - To indulge your husband, slouch down in your chair and try to compare the two.

Step 3 - When that doesn't work (clearly, you're not lying level), get all the way down on the floor and lay flat so he can observe. Cue harder laughter.

Step 4 - Be confused for a moment while your husband disappears, then reappears with a yardstick in hard. Cue uncontrollable giggling.

Step 5 - In the interest of science, try to lie still through fits of laughter while your husband, the certified Geologist, takes floor-to-nose and floor-to-belly apex measurements.

 Step 6 - Be grateful he doesn't pour hydrochloric acid on you like he does his rocks...

Step 7 - Conclude that yes, your belly does in fact stick out further than your nose (by one inch). Be horrified. Then start laughing again.

Step 8 - To get a good visual, balance said yardstick on your nose and belly. Record negative slope.

Step 9 - Figure that these aren't the type of "belly photos" your family and friends have been asking to see. Decide to post them on your blog anyway.

Step 10 - Wonder what your poor baby boy is in for. Decide it will be a fun -- if somewhat unconventional -- life!