Wait, people don't do that last one?
Don't put recipe books on the empty stove when you are exhausted, so you accidentally turn on the wrong burner, and then leave to do something else while waiting for the water to boil. Lesson learned.
But, if you do, leave the mess. Open the windows and flip on the fan so the surprisingly copious amount of smoke can air out. Recognize that it's probably best if you don't cook at all in this state, and then go get pizza with your boys.
Sorry, bad cell phone photo - and, like I said, TIRED. :)
Make a mental note: burned plastic smells.
And then be glad that the previous tenants left a fire extinguisher in the kitchen. So glad it's Friday...