Friday, January 28, 2011

There is a Down Side

Fear \ˈfir\: : to be afraid of : expect with alarm

We are so grateful to be having this baby. He is a miracle, in more ways than the already overwhelming miracle of human life. Landon was able to feel him kicking for the first time this week; that is a precious memory already. We are thrilled with the anticipation of meeting him, naming him, teaching him, and endlessly teasing and playing with him. June can't come fast enough.

But when the pharmacist handed me this:

I had a massively huge and embarrassing little meltdown. 

I knew it was coming. Twice-daily injections of Heparin (blood thinners) are part of the pregnancy package when you're a woman of the Sanders family. I've heard my sister talk about it, and the Dr. warned me about it, but nothing could have prepared me for the utter terror I feel at the very thought of pushing that needle (although it's very small) through my own skin. 

I am not usually a needle-hater, per say. Immunizations, birth control shots, lots of blood work when I was in college: I've had them all. But I don't usually watch. 

And these shots, for whatever inhumane reason, REALLY HURT!

I have been a bit of a nervous wreck for the past few days while I try to readjust to this new lifestyle. Less sleeping, eating, and laughing is happening at the Burgener house. Lots more crying. Maybe we're just practicing for when the baby gets here?

So if you happen to be a diabetic: I salute you. If you are required to test your blood daily for iron or insulin: I salute you. If you are a heroin addict: Honestly, I'm a little bit in awe of you. Because I can't do it; I make Landon do it instead. 

Prayers are appreciated -- someday I hope to "man up" and give myself the shots.

Oh, and if you're a doctor? Could you PLEASE develop an anti-coagulant that comes in the form of a pill/lotion/energy drink/once monthly injection? It's the only way we're going to be able to have more kids.


Bree said...

When we were doing fertility treatments I had to do trigger shots, they were only once a month and I couldn't handle those! Greg had to do them too. I can't imagine doing this, good luck!

Nancy said...

I had gestational diabeties with both kids and I seriously had to mentally prepare myself everytime I had to test my blood sugar levels. I'm so glad that I never had to go on insulin because I think pricking myself is a whole lot easier than actually giving myself a shot. I don't think I could do it. Like you I would make my husband give me the shot. I'm sorry that you have to do this. I'm sure as time goes by it will get easier and maybe you will be able to do it. If not, don't get yourself down. Pregnancy is hard enough without you degrading yourself. Good luck!

Catherine said...

kylie you are so brave!! I would have a melt down too. Except I'd probably pass out any time I thought about doing it. We'll say prayers for you!!!!

Dave, Laura, Maggie and Chloe said...

I am so sorry Ky. I remember how bruised and nasty Abby's stomach would look...I feel so bad for you guys. You're over half way done with the pregnancy at least, that's always nice :)

Natalie Ormond said...

Kylie, I can't imagine giving my self a shot either. Needles completely freak me out and the sight of a shot sends me into emotional chaos. You are a lot braver then me! Hang in there. :)

Amy Diestler said...

Not fun - that sounds just horrible Kylie. I hope it gets less and less frightening for you . . .

Congratulations on the pregnancy! That is SO exciting - you'll make a great Mom!