Friday, December 17, 2010

Merry Christmas Darling -- I wish I was with you.

Does anyone else cry every time that Karen Carpenter song comes on the radio? ...I mean, me neither...

For many reasons, this Christmas season has been somewhat disappointing. Part of it is that I'm really not counting down to Christmas, but to 2 days AFTER Christmas (Abby & Jenna, I think this is the first time someone has had an advent calendar dedicated to your birthday). It makes "the big day" sort of anti-climactic in my mind.

Another reason is that I'm all alone in my house. I tried to put up a little Christmas cheer, and there are TONS of presents and a few nativities spread around, but seriously, I wasn't going to attempt to haul a Christmas tree on top of our tiny Cavalier back to our house, saw off the bottom, fix it in the tree stand so it would be straight, and string the lights on by myself. Instead I have this:
Yeah, it's a little sad, I know.
I don't think the lack of Christmas spirit is totally my fault though. It has been 50+ degrees here for the last little while (today excepted), resulting in a Christmas scene that, instead of looking like this:
Looks more like this:
Taken a couple of days ago (without my coat on). Not exactly sleigh ride weather. Although I am thankful that it's looking like nice, dry roads for my trip up to Rexburg next week.

Lest you think I am a total Grinch, we've had a few Christmas jaunts to keep the spirit of the thing, although flickering, more or less alive. There was the obligatory visit to Santa:
 The making of Christmas cookies and a formal viewing of "Elf" as a hodgepodge family unit, And an awesome trip to "The Nutcracker," with row-5 seats in the Capital Theater, courtesy of Aunt Wendy. 

I feel horrible saying that I can't wait for it to all be over, but that's how I am feeling this year. It sort of makes me long for the days of drinking eggnog with my Mom and Dad while we decorate the tree, choir trips to temple square, freezing to death while we delivered (what felt like) millions of neighbor gifts, reading Christmas books as a family, changing the direction of the candy canes on the tree to drive my mom nuts, watching Rudolph in the kitchen while we prepare yummy snacks for Christmas Eve dinner, making molasses cookies, hiding in various rooms of the house and only coming out to swap wrapping paper with each other, eating the nasty, sticky lifesavers off the Santa advent calendar, running to Preston's house through the snow and decorating cookies, and the sheer anticipation of watching the pile of gifts under the tree grow bigger, and bigger...
Then I remember that handsome guy hanging out down south, who will be back with me in a little over a week. And I know I wouldn't trade all the Christmas traditions of old for the feeling I'll have at that reunion, and the future Christmases we have to look forward to, establishing our own traditions and making many happy memories. 
And I remember the true reason we celebrate Christmas, and know that Christ is watching over me and my family, and that real happiness doesn't lie under the Christmas tree, but above it. Thanks Erica, for posting this song to help my Christmas spirit survive a little longer.
And now I shall go make myself a plate of ginger cookies, and ask my Mom to hold off on the Rudolph watching until I get there.

10 days.


Roger and Laurene said...

Oh don’t you worry little girl. Our home is awash in Christmas Spirit. Rexburg is covered in beautiful white snow and I’m saving the delivery of neighbor gifts just for you. The candy canes have been superglued in place this year. No switching directions, yah hear? Eggnog and Rudolph await…
“Guess what Dad? The kids are coming home!!!”
I can't wait!

Kenny and Kayla said...

don't worry my house is the same. very un-christmas like, but it's just too hard and not any fun to do all the normal Christmas things without husbands around. Not to mention I do get teary eyed every time I think we have to spend another Christmas apart. Just think you are almost there! You will have made it through a definite hard time. Separation from our spouses is never easy but you did it!! :)